There Can Be Only One!

by Juno Lister


A row has erupted over the new sporting craze that is sweeping Valroma. Prize fighting although not new to Valroma has been an underground affair unregulated and poorly followed due to exaggerations in records, inflated reputations and fraudulent claims of overall supremacy. The Guards Association of Sports and Hobbies (GASH) has made huge steps forward in trying to organise the dirty world of pit fighting last week by appointing their number 1 pugilist Bad Baz as champion. On a grey evening in Grendel Square he took on all comers and despatched them all in a crazy circus like stunt only to come unstuck by a teenager from down town Valroma called Zoomo Azz. Not to take anything away from the Teenage Terror whose tenacity and raw violence upended Bad Baz....but Bad Baz has complained he was tired and it wasn't fair that his title belt was given to Azz. GASH has signed up Azz and although Baz and Azz’s relationship is rocky they share the same camp and the atmosphere in the gym is apparently very icy.

Out on the harsh desolate plains beyond the southernmost provinces of Valroma live the tribal folk. The feudal unrest between tribes is often very volatile but over the last few decades pit fighting has been a means of settling scores, all out war being far too devastating the small tribal populations. They have a very active pit fighting culture and leader of the Hawk Eye tribe Chief Jaiya has petitioned GASH demanding that their inter-tribe champion Shaka Firestorm must be in line to contend for the Valroma Championship. Bad Baz has claimed he should be allowed to fight to get his belt back first. There have been several other fighters who are staking a claim to the title also, a certain Malachia Il-Muntun a goat headed beastman from the Klopp region north of San Pedro and strangely Cirillu Ghajn Al-Maqdes a priest from one of the many obscure temples in Valroma city.

In order to settle the title belt once and for all GASH decided that they would appoint a body of respected individuals on to a panel called the Valroma Unified Fighters League VUFL. Representatives from the major pit fighting and pugilist camps have met and it has been decided that the best fighters in the land will meet in Grendel Square in Valroma City. They will all be thrown into a fighting area and the last man standing will be the Real Champion. As fighter by fighter falls his name will be placed on a ranking ladder and the higher up the ladder.

The VUFL have also announced that in the pipe line they are planning to have a tag team championship. They will announce fight cards ahead of the event and take the VUFL to the provinces so fans all over Valroma can see the fighters who they reckon will soon be legends.

Former Pit Fighter Mack McMinus has laughed at these plans........" Taking pit fighting to a larger audience is nonsense ...in my day it were real fighting, Grannies were the biggest fans & I can't see it appealing to the wider public...they are even talking of having the Wizards Guild provide pyrotechnics and Bards to introduce them onto the square...it's all too razzle dazzle for me....it will never catch on"

Time will tell .......bring it on!