By Juno lister
It was a fine sunny day for the Bloodbowl final. A re-vamped stadium, more pyrotechnics from San Pedrian Wizard Cucci Fogu . ….no cheerleaders to be seen though.
Valroma City entered the stadium to an eruption of applause. There was no doubt that the whole of Valroma was behind their gallant guards. The players ran on to the field like gods of thunder , it was an inspirational moment which made me almost cry with pride, what a wonderful blood bowl team our city has. They were playing Harbads Heroes.
The shining armour of the city players leapt into action as Dibble kicked-off the final. Heroes new edition Wotsit caught the ball and ran at the City line-out …….it was like a sword against a brick wall ….Wotsit was upended and the ball was eventually retrieved by City’s Grub who swept graceful as a gazelle through the field scoring a city touchdown. The city of Valroma erupted …….1-0 to City
On the restart the game quietened down and Heroes had the ball for a bit…..Wotsit got lucky as Pew(1), whilst being tackled, slipped allowing Wotsit to scoop up the ball and pass it to Skudd who ran for dear life down the right flank. As he was being pursued by the fearsome City, he handed the ball to Koff who scored a very lucky equaliser 1-1
The second half was more of the same City playing extremely attractive fast flowing bloodbowl whilst the Heroes kind of got lucky. On 60 minutes a huge melee on halfway line found the ball being spilled into the hands of Heroes player Koff who ran away with it like a headless chicken. Amazingly he (couldn’t do it again if he tried in my humble opinion) spun, skipped around the City warriors and just happened to fall into the endzone - 2-1 to Heroes. The crowd fell silent …so silent I couldn’t hear the restart whistle……for the huge rackety silence….ahem.
In the dying moments of the match with the cup looking to be stolen from the grasp of the glorious City they launched a last attack. Grub made a clever dummy run in a diagonal towards the endzone taking a multitude of tactically inept Heroes with him. This allowed Dibble the space to go on a heroic run through the field untouched. He handed the ball to Pew(1) who launched into the endzone. The score was 2-2…the ground groaned…..groaned with the strain of the noise being made by the city faithful.
With a few seconds to go the other team played ‘keep ball’ and wouldn’t come out fighting, they knew that if they did city would have won. As it was they played for the penalty kicks.
Best of three kicks was going to decide the cup……
Rash scored his penalty kick for the Heroes in the absolute still air of a brilliant sunny afternoon.
Pew(1) stepped up for City and amazingly the wind blew the ball just wide.
Zar scored the next goal for Heroes…….
Pew(2) bravely ran towards his penalty kick and as he planted his foot down to kick the ball the granite was slippery and the ball hit the post and back out.
It was over, heroes could not lose.
Heroes were given the cup then went home...
Thursday 11 June 2009
Friday 5 June 2009
The Grendel Square Bashing
by Bob Sanweevs
The day all pugilism fans were waiting for the “There can be only one” mega scrap took place at Grendel Square in Valroma City. The San Pedrian Wizard Cucci Fogu lit up the square with pre-fight pyrotechnics, accidentally igniting one of the head cheerleader Donna Blacksmith’s ponytails. The result of which was the last performance by the cheerleader who will be forever known as Donna Kebab. People in the crowd agreed it was a lightening performance by the unfortunate cheerleader. Famed for her pompom work at La Madame’s, it was a shame it ended so quickly as she danced like it was her last dance…….actually it was her last dance…
As the fighters were lead out Wizard Fogu increased his pyromaniac tendencies to the max and soon we had 7 fighters standing in the square looking mean at each other.
There was Sir John Drew ….or ‘Screwy Drewy’ as he is known amongst his fellow knights. Not content on doing what nobility do best namely hobnobing with his peers, dueling and jousting…..oh no this old veteran likes nothing more than getting down to the darkest deepest ghettos of the city and mixing it with the riff-raff. “A true knight fights anyone “ he told me before the fight. Slow but very experienced Sir John would be a force to be reckoned with.
At the other end of the spectrum Zoomo Azz the holder of the championship belt is young inexperienced but full of energy. He entered the arena having taken the belt off of Bad Baz . Sure of himself and full of flashy moves the boy from the ghetto was fully expecting to retain his belt.
Cirillu Ghajn Al-Maqdes, a priest from the Order of the Obsidian Gate ………….. What is a priest doing in what is a essentially a gloried street brawl I asked him? “well my son, sadly the Temple of the Outcast Daemons needs a new roof and donations are pitifully few. If by the blessed Azmet I should win then the prize money would go a long way to reaching our goal!” replied the confident cleric and produced a donations box from him robes, rattling it enthusiastically.
Malachia il-Muntun, a beastman from the Klopp region near San Pedro. There were high hopes for this hard looking fighter resplendent with mighty rams horns! He is reported to have slain the great troll who lived under the bridge of the Rikketii Bridge!
Phantom Power the crowd’s favourite posed his way into the square, his white leggings as white as white, his long locks soft and wavy. His body honed and toned, teeth gleaming in the evening sun, Phantom, known as the People’s Pugilist, was a picture of perfection. He told me before the fight…..”I will fight fair I will fight hard and I will be the people’s champion…..and kids….don’t do mushrooms”
Bad Baz the dreaded Guard form Valroma city had a lot to prove, having already been beaten by a kid, losing his self proclaimed championship……He walked into the square looking very angry and kicked an old lady as she booed him.
The last fighter to appear was Cedric McNasty. No one has seen Cedric’s face and no one knows where he comes from. He never speaks, never shows emotion, he just turns up, points at his intended foe and pummels them into the ground.
So the scene was set and the ref Bryn Craptree shouted the magic word….. “FIGHT!” … the mayhem began.
Sir John wandered over to Zoomo Azz and the pair of them squared off at each other. Sir John raised his fists in pure Queensbury Rules style and started a continual banter at Azz…”come on young lad …come on stick one on me come on mitts up boy” Malachia put head down and charged into Bad Baz. Cirillu stood in the middle of the square, raised his arms out to the side as if summonsing the heavens all around him. Phantom Power was running around the arena giving cheap shots to everyone and the crowd were loving it. Sir John was off-loading on Azz and soon the both of them had to pick themselves off the ground. Phantom Power ran up to Azz as he was on the floor to ‘put the boot in’ but Azz caught him low sending the People’s Pugilist clutching the People’s Parts! Bad Baz knocked out Malachia cold and turned his attentions to Cirillu who promptly disposed of Bad Baz. Cirillu stepped forward and punched Cedric Mc Nasty clean on the chin, Mc Nasty couldn’t beat the count and was out. The People’s Pugilist got up again and looked even more determined to put the boot in on Azz who had been floored again by the Sir John. As Power drew his foot back Azz again planted his foot in Powers groin, Sir John threw Azz down again and this time Cirillu stepped across and kicked him whilst down, knocking him out.
Cirillu, Sir John and Phantom Power were the last three standing. Power disposed of the old knight whilst he was gasping for breath on the floor having been kneed in the stomach. As it looked like Sir John was about to get up Cirillu stamped him into the ground …the crowd were starting to cheer “Bravu Cirillu ghalhekk jghidulu hekk”
Phantom Power relatively fresh from avoiding the scrap to a certain to degree turned on the magic, unleashed a barrage of punches and kicks and as Cirillu fell Power raised his arms and shouted
“I am the people’s champion I defeated all of them …fairly squarely and with style!!! And remember kids….don’t accept berries from strangers!"
So the rankings stand :
Champion Phantom Power with 2 KO s
Contender Cirillu………….with 3 KO s
Sir John Drew…………….
Zoomo Azz…………………with 1 KO (previous fight against Bad Baz)
Cedric Mc Nasty Bad Baz ………………………with 1 KO
Malachia il-Muntun
The day all pugilism fans were waiting for the “There can be only one” mega scrap took place at Grendel Square in Valroma City. The San Pedrian Wizard Cucci Fogu lit up the square with pre-fight pyrotechnics, accidentally igniting one of the head cheerleader Donna Blacksmith’s ponytails. The result of which was the last performance by the cheerleader who will be forever known as Donna Kebab. People in the crowd agreed it was a lightening performance by the unfortunate cheerleader. Famed for her pompom work at La Madame’s, it was a shame it ended so quickly as she danced like it was her last dance…….actually it was her last dance…
As the fighters were lead out Wizard Fogu increased his pyromaniac tendencies to the max and soon we had 7 fighters standing in the square looking mean at each other.
There was Sir John Drew ….or ‘Screwy Drewy’ as he is known amongst his fellow knights. Not content on doing what nobility do best namely hobnobing with his peers, dueling and jousting…..oh no this old veteran likes nothing more than getting down to the darkest deepest ghettos of the city and mixing it with the riff-raff. “A true knight fights anyone “ he told me before the fight. Slow but very experienced Sir John would be a force to be reckoned with.
At the other end of the spectrum Zoomo Azz the holder of the championship belt is young inexperienced but full of energy. He entered the arena having taken the belt off of Bad Baz . Sure of himself and full of flashy moves the boy from the ghetto was fully expecting to retain his belt.
Cirillu Ghajn Al-Maqdes, a priest from the Order of the Obsidian Gate ………….. What is a priest doing in what is a essentially a gloried street brawl I asked him? “well my son, sadly the Temple of the Outcast Daemons needs a new roof and donations are pitifully few. If by the blessed Azmet I should win then the prize money would go a long way to reaching our goal!” replied the confident cleric and produced a donations box from him robes, rattling it enthusiastically.
Malachia il-Muntun, a beastman from the Klopp region near San Pedro. There were high hopes for this hard looking fighter resplendent with mighty rams horns! He is reported to have slain the great troll who lived under the bridge of the Rikketii Bridge!
Phantom Power the crowd’s favourite posed his way into the square, his white leggings as white as white, his long locks soft and wavy. His body honed and toned, teeth gleaming in the evening sun, Phantom, known as the People’s Pugilist, was a picture of perfection. He told me before the fight…..”I will fight fair I will fight hard and I will be the people’s champion…..and kids….don’t do mushrooms”
Bad Baz the dreaded Guard form Valroma city had a lot to prove, having already been beaten by a kid, losing his self proclaimed championship……He walked into the square looking very angry and kicked an old lady as she booed him.
The last fighter to appear was Cedric McNasty. No one has seen Cedric’s face and no one knows where he comes from. He never speaks, never shows emotion, he just turns up, points at his intended foe and pummels them into the ground.
So the scene was set and the ref Bryn Craptree shouted the magic word….. “FIGHT!” … the mayhem began.
Sir John wandered over to Zoomo Azz and the pair of them squared off at each other. Sir John raised his fists in pure Queensbury Rules style and started a continual banter at Azz…”come on young lad …come on stick one on me come on mitts up boy” Malachia put head down and charged into Bad Baz. Cirillu stood in the middle of the square, raised his arms out to the side as if summonsing the heavens all around him. Phantom Power was running around the arena giving cheap shots to everyone and the crowd were loving it. Sir John was off-loading on Azz and soon the both of them had to pick themselves off the ground. Phantom Power ran up to Azz as he was on the floor to ‘put the boot in’ but Azz caught him low sending the People’s Pugilist clutching the People’s Parts! Bad Baz knocked out Malachia cold and turned his attentions to Cirillu who promptly disposed of Bad Baz. Cirillu stepped forward and punched Cedric Mc Nasty clean on the chin, Mc Nasty couldn’t beat the count and was out. The People’s Pugilist got up again and looked even more determined to put the boot in on Azz who had been floored again by the Sir John. As Power drew his foot back Azz again planted his foot in Powers groin, Sir John threw Azz down again and this time Cirillu stepped across and kicked him whilst down, knocking him out.
Cirillu, Sir John and Phantom Power were the last three standing. Power disposed of the old knight whilst he was gasping for breath on the floor having been kneed in the stomach. As it looked like Sir John was about to get up Cirillu stamped him into the ground …the crowd were starting to cheer “Bravu Cirillu ghalhekk jghidulu hekk”
Phantom Power relatively fresh from avoiding the scrap to a certain to degree turned on the magic, unleashed a barrage of punches and kicks and as Cirillu fell Power raised his arms and shouted
“I am the people’s champion I defeated all of them …fairly squarely and with style!!! And remember kids….don’t accept berries from strangers!"
So the rankings stand :
Champion Phantom Power with 2 KO s
Contender Cirillu………….with 3 KO s
Sir John Drew…………….
Zoomo Azz…………………with 1 KO (previous fight against Bad Baz)
Cedric Mc Nasty Bad Baz ………………………with 1 KO
Malachia il-Muntun
Wednesday 3 June 2009
Endzone Merger
the Editor
With the rise in popularity of the seedy backstreet fight scene Endzone Report is branching out.
Sports fans can look forward to not only the best coverage of all the top blood bowl matches in and around The Grand Duchy of Valroma but also fight reports and profiles of the city’s top ranked fighters.
With a name change we have now become Endzone & Pugilist and would like to welcome veteran fight commentator Bob Sanweevs to the team.
With the rise in popularity of the seedy backstreet fight scene Endzone Report is branching out.
Sports fans can look forward to not only the best coverage of all the top blood bowl matches in and around The Grand Duchy of Valroma but also fight reports and profiles of the city’s top ranked fighters.
With a name change we have now become Endzone & Pugilist and would like to welcome veteran fight commentator Bob Sanweevs to the team.
Tuesday 2 June 2009
Official VBC Press Release
In response to Harbads Heroes suggesting that there is racism in the halls of the VBC, the right honourable president of the commition Ambrose Blacke has replied
"Absolutely there is racism. We didn't want those skanky horrible Ork ruffians anywhere near the cup but unfortunately they won and reluctantly we had togive them the cup ….however the journalist Juno lister is not an employee of the VBC and we have no control over the scribes at Endzone or what they write. However we have it on good authority that Mr Lister was last seen being bundled into a prison cart whilst on his way to submit his match report. The reason for his incarceration is not known but rumours suggests that the report is being rewritten as we speak and upon his release the report will be published as City …I mean Endzone Reports sees fit"
Monday 1 June 2009
Green Disrimination
by Guido de Groot
A row has been slowly brewing in Valroma since the final of the Dukes Cup and the ugly word ‘racism’ rearing its head! The cause..? Harbads Heroes dissatisfaction of their treatment by the VBC following their upset win over Valroma City and namely the lack of any reporting by the VBC official reporter Juno Lister.
The much scorned Heroes were rank underdogs to win the cup but they romped to victory, winning in a nail biting penalty shoot-out in extra time. The final of this prestigious new tournament has still to be reported in the official VBC press prompting outrage from team captain ‘Rash’ Gaarhgon.
“We’s wun fare n skware! Dowz gurls in da Gards kudunt hak i’ an now Vowrowma iz tryin to pretend id neva ‘happend! We deemandz ar just rekognishun! IZ ID KOZ WEE IZ GREEN?!!
The fans are still waiting for an official response from the VBC
A row has been slowly brewing in Valroma since the final of the Dukes Cup and the ugly word ‘racism’ rearing its head! The cause..? Harbads Heroes dissatisfaction of their treatment by the VBC following their upset win over Valroma City and namely the lack of any reporting by the VBC official reporter Juno Lister.
The much scorned Heroes were rank underdogs to win the cup but they romped to victory, winning in a nail biting penalty shoot-out in extra time. The final of this prestigious new tournament has still to be reported in the official VBC press prompting outrage from team captain ‘Rash’ Gaarhgon.
“We’s wun fare n skware! Dowz gurls in da Gards kudunt hak i’ an now Vowrowma iz tryin to pretend id neva ‘happend! We deemandz ar just rekognishun! IZ ID KOZ WEE IZ GREEN?!!
The fans are still waiting for an official response from the VBC
Wednesday 20 May 2009
There Can Be Only One!
by Juno Lister
A row has erupted over the new sporting craze that is sweeping Valroma. Prize fighting although not new to Valroma has been an underground affair unregulated and poorly followed due to exaggerations in records, inflated reputations and fraudulent claims of overall supremacy. The Guards Association of Sports and Hobbies (GASH) has made huge steps forward in trying to organise the dirty world of pit fighting last week by appointing their number 1 pugilist Bad Baz as champion. On a grey evening in Grendel Square he took on all comers and despatched them all in a crazy circus like stunt only to come unstuck by a teenager from down town Valroma called Zoomo Azz. Not to take anything away from the Teenage Terror whose tenacity and raw violence upended Bad Baz....but Bad Baz has complained he was tired and it wasn't fair that his title belt was given to Azz. GASH has signed up Azz and although Baz and Azz’s relationship is rocky they share the same camp and the atmosphere in the gym is apparently very icy.
Out on the harsh desolate plains beyond the southernmost provinces of Valroma live the tribal folk. The feudal unrest between tribes is often very volatile but over the last few decades pit fighting has been a means of settling scores, all out war being far too devastating the small tribal populations. They have a very active pit fighting culture and leader of the Hawk Eye tribe Chief Jaiya has petitioned GASH demanding that their inter-tribe champion Shaka Firestorm must be in line to contend for the Valroma Championship. Bad Baz has claimed he should be allowed to fight to get his belt back first. There have been several other fighters who are staking a claim to the title also, a certain Malachia Il-Muntun a goat headed beastman from the Klopp region north of San Pedro and strangely Cirillu Ghajn Al-Maqdes a priest from one of the many obscure temples in Valroma city.
In order to settle the title belt once and for all GASH decided that they would appoint a body of respected individuals on to a panel called the Valroma Unified Fighters League VUFL. Representatives from the major pit fighting and pugilist camps have met and it has been decided that the best fighters in the land will meet in Grendel Square in Valroma City. They will all be thrown into a fighting area and the last man standing will be the Real Champion. As fighter by fighter falls his name will be placed on a ranking ladder and the higher up the ladder.
The VUFL have also announced that in the pipe line they are planning to have a tag team championship. They will announce fight cards ahead of the event and take the VUFL to the provinces so fans all over Valroma can see the fighters who they reckon will soon be legends.
Former Pit Fighter Mack McMinus has laughed at these plans........" Taking pit fighting to a larger audience is nonsense ...in my day it were real fighting, Grannies were the biggest fans & I can't see it appealing to the wider public...they are even talking of having the Wizards Guild provide pyrotechnics and Bards to introduce them onto the square...it's all too razzle dazzle for me....it will never catch on"
Time will tell .......bring it on!
A row has erupted over the new sporting craze that is sweeping Valroma. Prize fighting although not new to Valroma has been an underground affair unregulated and poorly followed due to exaggerations in records, inflated reputations and fraudulent claims of overall supremacy. The Guards Association of Sports and Hobbies (GASH) has made huge steps forward in trying to organise the dirty world of pit fighting last week by appointing their number 1 pugilist Bad Baz as champion. On a grey evening in Grendel Square he took on all comers and despatched them all in a crazy circus like stunt only to come unstuck by a teenager from down town Valroma called Zoomo Azz. Not to take anything away from the Teenage Terror whose tenacity and raw violence upended Bad Baz....but Bad Baz has complained he was tired and it wasn't fair that his title belt was given to Azz. GASH has signed up Azz and although Baz and Azz’s relationship is rocky they share the same camp and the atmosphere in the gym is apparently very icy.
Out on the harsh desolate plains beyond the southernmost provinces of Valroma live the tribal folk. The feudal unrest between tribes is often very volatile but over the last few decades pit fighting has been a means of settling scores, all out war being far too devastating the small tribal populations. They have a very active pit fighting culture and leader of the Hawk Eye tribe Chief Jaiya has petitioned GASH demanding that their inter-tribe champion Shaka Firestorm must be in line to contend for the Valroma Championship. Bad Baz has claimed he should be allowed to fight to get his belt back first. There have been several other fighters who are staking a claim to the title also, a certain Malachia Il-Muntun a goat headed beastman from the Klopp region north of San Pedro and strangely Cirillu Ghajn Al-Maqdes a priest from one of the many obscure temples in Valroma city.
In order to settle the title belt once and for all GASH decided that they would appoint a body of respected individuals on to a panel called the Valroma Unified Fighters League VUFL. Representatives from the major pit fighting and pugilist camps have met and it has been decided that the best fighters in the land will meet in Grendel Square in Valroma City. They will all be thrown into a fighting area and the last man standing will be the Real Champion. As fighter by fighter falls his name will be placed on a ranking ladder and the higher up the ladder.
The VUFL have also announced that in the pipe line they are planning to have a tag team championship. They will announce fight cards ahead of the event and take the VUFL to the provinces so fans all over Valroma can see the fighters who they reckon will soon be legends.
Former Pit Fighter Mack McMinus has laughed at these plans........" Taking pit fighting to a larger audience is nonsense ...in my day it were real fighting, Grannies were the biggest fans & I can't see it appealing to the wider public...they are even talking of having the Wizards Guild provide pyrotechnics and Bards to introduce them onto the square...it's all too razzle dazzle for me....it will never catch on"
Time will tell .......bring it on!
Friday 15 May 2009
Bad Baz Knocked Out By Teenage Terror
by Juno lister
There is a new kid on the block, remember this name ......Zoomo Azz
Bad Baz had been knocking out wannabe pugilists all evening in Grendel Square in Valroma City. A large crowd had built up as the Guard dispatched all comers. Then up stepped a young man barely in his adulthood called Zoomo Azz. The crowd winced as Azz was put down time after time and as he appeared on his last legs Bad Baz missed two big shots and with that Azz stepped up and put him on his backside.
Baz beat the count and looked drained himself. He went to head-butt the young gun but the youthful Azz sidestepped and planted a knee on the blundering guards chin sending him to sleep. When Bad Baz was counted out the square erupted.....Zoomo Azz was given a championship belt that had been round Bad Baz's waist........A GASH official lifted Azz's arm and declared......The new champion of Valroma......................... Zoomo Azz
Rumour has it Azz has tonight been recruited by the Guards and offered a contract with GASH. Bad Baz left the square after blasting out a warning to Azz
"that belt is on loan ....I’m taking it back ...and when I do I will break you in two!!!!!"
There is a new kid on the block, remember this name ......Zoomo Azz
Bad Baz had been knocking out wannabe pugilists all evening in Grendel Square in Valroma City. A large crowd had built up as the Guard dispatched all comers. Then up stepped a young man barely in his adulthood called Zoomo Azz. The crowd winced as Azz was put down time after time and as he appeared on his last legs Bad Baz missed two big shots and with that Azz stepped up and put him on his backside.
Baz beat the count and looked drained himself. He went to head-butt the young gun but the youthful Azz sidestepped and planted a knee on the blundering guards chin sending him to sleep. When Bad Baz was counted out the square erupted.....Zoomo Azz was given a championship belt that had been round Bad Baz's waist........A GASH official lifted Azz's arm and declared......The new champion of Valroma......................... Zoomo Azz
Rumour has it Azz has tonight been recruited by the Guards and offered a contract with GASH. Bad Baz left the square after blasting out a warning to Azz
"that belt is on loan ....I’m taking it back ...and when I do I will break you in two!!!!!"
Open Invitation
by Mike Oxstiff
A spokes person for G.A.S.H. (Guards Association of Sports and Hobbies) has issue a statement to challenge San Pedro's veteran pit fighter Gonbailas to fight their finest fighter Bad Baz, a well known city centre Guard whose reputation for cracking skulls is legendary. GASH said that following the success of the Valroma City it was decide that they had to dominate the fight game too.
Bad Baz is doing some exhibition fights in Grendel Square tonight and will invite all comers to climb into the ring with him for a small purse.
So far Gonbailas has not responded in fact no one has seen him.....has he lost his bottle?
A spokes person for G.A.S.H. (Guards Association of Sports and Hobbies) has issue a statement to challenge San Pedro's veteran pit fighter Gonbailas to fight their finest fighter Bad Baz, a well known city centre Guard whose reputation for cracking skulls is legendary. GASH said that following the success of the Valroma City it was decide that they had to dominate the fight game too.
Bad Baz is doing some exhibition fights in Grendel Square tonight and will invite all comers to climb into the ring with him for a small purse.
So far Gonbailas has not responded in fact no one has seen him.....has he lost his bottle?
Thursday 14 May 2009
Clash of the Titans
By Juno Lister
The second semi-final was between the two favourites to win the tournament Valroma City and Black Bay Dragons, but only one of them could go through. The city’s guard team Valroma City are surprisingly getting a very healthy fan base since they exploded onto the Bloodbowl league last year. Rumour has it that lighter sentencing of Valroma’s undesirables upon arrest is the order of the day in exchange for assurance of a bum on the terrace for the next home match.
The match kicked off with Jerimiah Lildew, Dragons Captain, launching a kick into City’s half. City then aimed to spoil the game by tucking the ball into a ‘boomchugaluga’ formation and tried advancing forward slowly. They got a fairway down the field when the Dragon’s fearless catcher Crash Talon zipped round the back of the bum chagga lagga discarding City’s Grub as he went. A whole melee took place and the ball seemed to bounce around the pitch forever almost a secondary issue amongst a whole load of scrapping bodies. Eventually the teams showed a renewed interest in the ball which spilled out to the two captains Lildew and Pew 1. Pew was sent sprawling, the ball flew into the air and Crash Talon gathered it and dashed to the endzone scoring a touchdown for the Dragons in the 25 minute.
It looked like the Dragons were going to run away with the game, they looked strong and fit where as City seemed only to want to spoil creative play and this tactic seemed to work as City absorbed anything thrown at them .The game was hard hitting and just before the break the Dragons failed to deal with the Valroma onslaught. Grub ran into the endzone and waited for what must have seemed an eternity as his team mate Dibble launched a long pass to him failing miserably. The ball bounced short into the hands of Dragon’s Crash Talon who remarkably fumbled the ball ...it was City player Barney who reacted the quickest picked up the ball and handed it to the patiently waiting grub in the endzone. The teams swapped ends at 1-1.
The second half was a similar story as the first with both teams going at each other quite ferociously but the Dragons for all their flair and speed were making silly ball control errors and it was only a matter of time before in the 75th minute, capitalising on another fumble this time by Omras, City’s Pue 2 picked up the loose ball and scored.
At the final whistle the stadium was on fire..........no it literally it was on fire as the disgruntled Dragons fans kidnapped City’s mascot Bertie the Boar and set light to his backside. As the poor man inside got hotter and hotter the quicker Bertie ran. Looking like a nitrous oxide injected pig hurtling towards the terraces . The flaming pig leapt into the crowd causing all sorts of mayhem, none the least setting the stand alight.....this meant that the Final between Harbads Heroes and Valroma City has to be postponed until the damage has been repaired.
Final score Valroma City 2 Black Bay Dragons 1
The second semi-final was between the two favourites to win the tournament Valroma City and Black Bay Dragons, but only one of them could go through. The city’s guard team Valroma City are surprisingly getting a very healthy fan base since they exploded onto the Bloodbowl league last year. Rumour has it that lighter sentencing of Valroma’s undesirables upon arrest is the order of the day in exchange for assurance of a bum on the terrace for the next home match.
The match kicked off with Jerimiah Lildew, Dragons Captain, launching a kick into City’s half. City then aimed to spoil the game by tucking the ball into a ‘boomchugaluga’ formation and tried advancing forward slowly. They got a fairway down the field when the Dragon’s fearless catcher Crash Talon zipped round the back of the bum chagga lagga discarding City’s Grub as he went. A whole melee took place and the ball seemed to bounce around the pitch forever almost a secondary issue amongst a whole load of scrapping bodies. Eventually the teams showed a renewed interest in the ball which spilled out to the two captains Lildew and Pew 1. Pew was sent sprawling, the ball flew into the air and Crash Talon gathered it and dashed to the endzone scoring a touchdown for the Dragons in the 25 minute.
It looked like the Dragons were going to run away with the game, they looked strong and fit where as City seemed only to want to spoil creative play and this tactic seemed to work as City absorbed anything thrown at them .The game was hard hitting and just before the break the Dragons failed to deal with the Valroma onslaught. Grub ran into the endzone and waited for what must have seemed an eternity as his team mate Dibble launched a long pass to him failing miserably. The ball bounced short into the hands of Dragon’s Crash Talon who remarkably fumbled the ball ...it was City player Barney who reacted the quickest picked up the ball and handed it to the patiently waiting grub in the endzone. The teams swapped ends at 1-1.
The second half was a similar story as the first with both teams going at each other quite ferociously but the Dragons for all their flair and speed were making silly ball control errors and it was only a matter of time before in the 75th minute, capitalising on another fumble this time by Omras, City’s Pue 2 picked up the loose ball and scored.
At the final whistle the stadium was on fire..........no it literally it was on fire as the disgruntled Dragons fans kidnapped City’s mascot Bertie the Boar and set light to his backside. As the poor man inside got hotter and hotter the quicker Bertie ran. Looking like a nitrous oxide injected pig hurtling towards the terraces . The flaming pig leapt into the crowd causing all sorts of mayhem, none the least setting the stand alight.....this meant that the Final between Harbads Heroes and Valroma City has to be postponed until the damage has been repaired.
Final score Valroma City 2 Black Bay Dragons 1
Wednesday 13 May 2009
Explosive Dukes Cup Action
By Juno Lister
Four thousand expectant fans crammed into the West gate stadium to witness the inaugural Dukes Cup Tournament. The Rams had arrived in the city a few days earlier and the festa atmosphere from the San Pedro fans has been a real focus point for the citizens of Valroma. These strange loud folk from San Pedro seem to have a strange fascination for hand held whistling fireworks and loud petards which have been going off at infrequent intervals all over the city launched from the roofs of their inns and accommodations. When not indulging their frankly dangerous obsession with pyrotechnics they seem to love walking aimlessly up and down the streets in their best clothes staring into people’s doors and windows. Their opponents in the first semi-final Harbads Heroes on the other hand arrived a few minutes before the opening match against The Rams their location in these last weeks still a mystery. Officials insist the team did infact present themselves before the mandatory registration 24 hours previous to the start of the tournament but as no-one seems to be witness to this, this reporter has to wonder if bribery and skullduggery are afoot?
So the Rams lined up hoping that maybe, just maybe, this was the game that would get their first win. This rather hopeful dream was soon banished into a nightmare in the form of a complete blunder by Rams no3 Kalcidon Il-Fatat who fumbled the ball from a Skudd kick-off allowing Heroes Skudd to run him down, push him aside and scoop up the ball to trot into the Endzone. The crowd went wild 1-0 to the Heroes.
From the re-start the plucky little San Pedrians attacked down the flank with No1 Mikiel Mufsid calling for the ball. Kalcidon trying to make a mends for his earlier fumble threw the ball to no7 Wenzu Il-Haxxej but over cooked. il-Haxxej had several Heroes running at him full pelt, but though they came off worse stunning themselves, it was enough to slow il-Haxxej and he couldn’t reach the ball in time,which was scooped up by Skudd for the Heroes.
The remainder of the first half saw the ball bobble about in the Heroes half as SanPedro piled on the pressure but couldn’t find the break-through they desperately needed. The Heroes just absorbed everything The Rams could throw at them.
The second half was much the same, Skudd was having a great game and was sprinting into the Rams half ball tucked into his body until Rams no 6 Cenzu il-Bari made a b-line for him, the clank of metal against metal was deafening as the pair of them ended up in a dented heap.
Then the killer blow! With ten minutes left to go Gripper Khan easily took out Rams no 4 Pietru il-Hafi scooping up the ball and passed it to his team mate Zaargh who was skipping into the endzone as the ball sailed into his hands, the Heroes crowd erupted and a few scuffles broke out on the terraces. The Heroes, now in the final, could sit back and watch the next match closely and plot against the winner of the second semi-final, only a step away from winning silverware. As for the Rams a long journey back to San Pedro, battered, bruised, winless and clueless.
Final score Harbads Heroes 2 San Pedro Rams 0
Four thousand expectant fans crammed into the West gate stadium to witness the inaugural Dukes Cup Tournament. The Rams had arrived in the city a few days earlier and the festa atmosphere from the San Pedro fans has been a real focus point for the citizens of Valroma. These strange loud folk from San Pedro seem to have a strange fascination for hand held whistling fireworks and loud petards which have been going off at infrequent intervals all over the city launched from the roofs of their inns and accommodations. When not indulging their frankly dangerous obsession with pyrotechnics they seem to love walking aimlessly up and down the streets in their best clothes staring into people’s doors and windows. Their opponents in the first semi-final Harbads Heroes on the other hand arrived a few minutes before the opening match against The Rams their location in these last weeks still a mystery. Officials insist the team did infact present themselves before the mandatory registration 24 hours previous to the start of the tournament but as no-one seems to be witness to this, this reporter has to wonder if bribery and skullduggery are afoot?
So the Rams lined up hoping that maybe, just maybe, this was the game that would get their first win. This rather hopeful dream was soon banished into a nightmare in the form of a complete blunder by Rams no3 Kalcidon Il-Fatat who fumbled the ball from a Skudd kick-off allowing Heroes Skudd to run him down, push him aside and scoop up the ball to trot into the Endzone. The crowd went wild 1-0 to the Heroes.
From the re-start the plucky little San Pedrians attacked down the flank with No1 Mikiel Mufsid calling for the ball. Kalcidon trying to make a mends for his earlier fumble threw the ball to no7 Wenzu Il-Haxxej but over cooked. il-Haxxej had several Heroes running at him full pelt, but though they came off worse stunning themselves, it was enough to slow il-Haxxej and he couldn’t reach the ball in time,which was scooped up by Skudd for the Heroes.
The remainder of the first half saw the ball bobble about in the Heroes half as SanPedro piled on the pressure but couldn’t find the break-through they desperately needed. The Heroes just absorbed everything The Rams could throw at them.
The second half was much the same, Skudd was having a great game and was sprinting into the Rams half ball tucked into his body until Rams no 6 Cenzu il-Bari made a b-line for him, the clank of metal against metal was deafening as the pair of them ended up in a dented heap.
Then the killer blow! With ten minutes left to go Gripper Khan easily took out Rams no 4 Pietru il-Hafi scooping up the ball and passed it to his team mate Zaargh who was skipping into the endzone as the ball sailed into his hands, the Heroes crowd erupted and a few scuffles broke out on the terraces. The Heroes, now in the final, could sit back and watch the next match closely and plot against the winner of the second semi-final, only a step away from winning silverware. As for the Rams a long journey back to San Pedro, battered, bruised, winless and clueless.
Final score Harbads Heroes 2 San Pedro Rams 0
Tuesday 5 May 2009
Teams Go Missing !
by I. P. Dayley
With only four days to go till the Dukes Cup tournament The Dark Bay Dragons are training hard, finalising tactics and set plays, the San Pedro Rams are still en route amid a carnival of fans and hanger-ons but what of Valroma City and the failing Harbads Heroes? Nothing has been seen or heard of from these two teams for several months, fuelling speculation and playing into the hands of conspiracy theorists! Representatives for both teams have filed all the correct applications and paid the appropriate brides in a timely fashion but with the mandatory presentation of the teams themselves to the commission the day before the tournament fast approaching fears and rumours abound of a disappointing two team tournament.
Following the success and growing celebrity status of the ‘Guards’ the Valroma City Watch reportedly transferred the whole team and coaching staff to the neighbouring territory of The Gorge to man the local watchtower. A spokesman said this would serve the twin purpose of once again manning the old disused tower and keep the team away from the temptations of Valroma city with the upcoming season looming. With The Gorge being a sparsely populated area and posing little or no danger no thought had been given to the City’s finest but now with days to go rumours are starting to fly. Have they run afoul of bandits? No one knows and the City Watch is being very tight lipped.
The Heroes have not been seen in valroma city since their crushing defeat against the Dragons last year but the word on the street is they have gone out into the wilds looking for the mysterious Darkmagi. Who or what is Darkmagi? Some say a fabled coach from another plane of existence, others say a cult of magicians. No one knows for sure, have the Heroes found a messiahanic new coach or come to a sticky end at the hands of evil cultists?
Two top teams both mysteriously absent so close to this prestigious tournament, coincidence or foul play? These two teams could hardly be more different, the Guards fine upstanding protectors of our fine city, the Heroes shady rogues of dubious virtue but there are some in the back streets of down town Valroma who whisper that this fabled Darkmagi has indeed been found and both the Heroes and the Guards were actually at a joint secret training camp. Could the conspiracy theorist be correct? Are the two teams in cahoots? Impossible some would say but this is bloodbowl let us not forget. Only time will tell.
La Madam has issued a statement that she had got the Darby & Juno OAP club to round up some volunteers to form a stand-in team, let’s hope that won’t be necessary (not quite sure what the rules have to say about Zimmer frames on the pitch but lawyers are currently investigating).
With only four days to go till the Dukes Cup tournament The Dark Bay Dragons are training hard, finalising tactics and set plays, the San Pedro Rams are still en route amid a carnival of fans and hanger-ons but what of Valroma City and the failing Harbads Heroes? Nothing has been seen or heard of from these two teams for several months, fuelling speculation and playing into the hands of conspiracy theorists! Representatives for both teams have filed all the correct applications and paid the appropriate brides in a timely fashion but with the mandatory presentation of the teams themselves to the commission the day before the tournament fast approaching fears and rumours abound of a disappointing two team tournament.
Following the success and growing celebrity status of the ‘Guards’ the Valroma City Watch reportedly transferred the whole team and coaching staff to the neighbouring territory of The Gorge to man the local watchtower. A spokesman said this would serve the twin purpose of once again manning the old disused tower and keep the team away from the temptations of Valroma city with the upcoming season looming. With The Gorge being a sparsely populated area and posing little or no danger no thought had been given to the City’s finest but now with days to go rumours are starting to fly. Have they run afoul of bandits? No one knows and the City Watch is being very tight lipped.
The Heroes have not been seen in valroma city since their crushing defeat against the Dragons last year but the word on the street is they have gone out into the wilds looking for the mysterious Darkmagi. Who or what is Darkmagi? Some say a fabled coach from another plane of existence, others say a cult of magicians. No one knows for sure, have the Heroes found a messiahanic new coach or come to a sticky end at the hands of evil cultists?
Two top teams both mysteriously absent so close to this prestigious tournament, coincidence or foul play? These two teams could hardly be more different, the Guards fine upstanding protectors of our fine city, the Heroes shady rogues of dubious virtue but there are some in the back streets of down town Valroma who whisper that this fabled Darkmagi has indeed been found and both the Heroes and the Guards were actually at a joint secret training camp. Could the conspiracy theorist be correct? Are the two teams in cahoots? Impossible some would say but this is bloodbowl let us not forget. Only time will tell.
La Madam has issued a statement that she had got the Darby & Juno OAP club to round up some volunteers to form a stand-in team, let’s hope that won’t be necessary (not quite sure what the rules have to say about Zimmer frames on the pitch but lawyers are currently investigating).
Friday 1 May 2009
Duke's Cup 09
by Juno Lister
As the summer fast approaches on the good citizens of Valroma pre-season training is in full swing. The first of the new season's tournaments is the Duke's Cup held at the New Westgate Stadium in downtown Valroma City.
The four teams competing for this prestigious trophy which is to be played in a knockout format are:
The Black Bay Dragons - the vicious Dark Elf team.
San Pedro Rams - the strange town folk from way down South. Yet to win a game of course but these plucky villagers are looking to avenge the defeat by this tournament's hosts.
Valroma City - the team of proud guards of our capital finest are starting to enjoy celebrity status due to off-field activities in the off season, none more so than the Pew brothers who won the popular contest 'Valroma's Got Talent' by shoving 235 frogs down a detainee's throat in one minute smashing the old record by 100 frogs.
Harbad's Heros - once hailed as the team to watch out for paled into insignificance last season with that bone crunching defeat by the Dragons.
So the draw was rigged as follows
Harbad's Heroes v San Pedro Rams
Valroma City v Black Bay Dragons
The winner of each going head-to-head for the Duke's Cup. The third place will be determined on touchdowns scored
So where will you be next weekend? Rumour has it the Rams have already set off from the hills to a ticker tape send off together with over hundred supporters in a convoy of donkey pulled carts. It is also rumoured that the popular San Pedro folk band Green Sleeves are also travelling to the capital and will be playing at the Dragonfly Tavern in Butterfly street supporting the popular Spriggan Moist . So everyone else will probably go to La Madame's until the main act comes on stage .
As the summer fast approaches on the good citizens of Valroma pre-season training is in full swing. The first of the new season's tournaments is the Duke's Cup held at the New Westgate Stadium in downtown Valroma City.
The four teams competing for this prestigious trophy which is to be played in a knockout format are:
The Black Bay Dragons - the vicious Dark Elf team.
San Pedro Rams - the strange town folk from way down South. Yet to win a game of course but these plucky villagers are looking to avenge the defeat by this tournament's hosts.
Valroma City - the team of proud guards of our capital finest are starting to enjoy celebrity status due to off-field activities in the off season, none more so than the Pew brothers who won the popular contest 'Valroma's Got Talent' by shoving 235 frogs down a detainee's throat in one minute smashing the old record by 100 frogs.
Harbad's Heros - once hailed as the team to watch out for paled into insignificance last season with that bone crunching defeat by the Dragons.
So the draw was rigged as follows
Harbad's Heroes v San Pedro Rams
Valroma City v Black Bay Dragons
The winner of each going head-to-head for the Duke's Cup. The third place will be determined on touchdowns scored
So where will you be next weekend? Rumour has it the Rams have already set off from the hills to a ticker tape send off together with over hundred supporters in a convoy of donkey pulled carts. It is also rumoured that the popular San Pedro folk band Green Sleeves are also travelling to the capital and will be playing at the Dragonfly Tavern in Butterfly street supporting the popular Spriggan Moist . So everyone else will probably go to La Madame's until the main act comes on stage .
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